if you're determined to leave girl I will not stand in your way
by ChocoholicMonkeyfish
Summary: Day five of RucasFanfictionWeek2016. Angst prompt: I put your picture away and sat down and cried today. A continuation of "and it seemed everlasting that you would always be mine".


_This is a continuation from my Day one angst post. Riley and Gen are now married but Lucas hasn't been able to shake that lingering feeling of hope he's carried around with him, until now._

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There should be some kind of rule book for situations like this: How to stay in your ex's life while strategically avoiding their new significant other. Not following Genevieve on social media would be a public dismissal that he can't take the chance of people questioning. It's not that he doesn't like her, but seeing her name pop up on his phone all of the time would only remind him of what he's lost.

Luckily, that is why they invented a mute button. He feels a little guilty about it. They've been married for over a year and while he doesn't think of her as competition there is still a small voice in the back of his head that tells him to not give up hope, you never know what will happen in the future. He's a horrible person.

Lucas reaches lazily for his ringing phone. It's his first morning off in forever and he has no plans to move from his bed. He smiles when he sees the name flashing across the screen. "Hey man, what's up?"

"Not much, busy as usual. Our new grant just went through despite those bureaucrats at the university and their attempts to keep us from meeting our deadline. While normally I find no logical reason to adhere to conspiracy theories, I'm really starting to believe that..." Farkle trails off when he realizes that he's ranting. "Sorry, so how is the job search going?"

"Still no word from those interviews I did last week but they went really well. I'm pretty confident that at least one of them will make an offer. This time next month I'll be back in New York." Graduation was only two weeks away and he plans to go visit his Pappy Joe for a week or two before heading north. He really did feel like he had a good chance of getting a spot at one of the firms he'd applied to but even if he didn't it was time for him to move back to New York. It had been too long, and the city had become more of a home to him than any other place.

"Good, and you know there's a guest room at my place with your name on it until you find your own if you don't feel like moving back in your parents. Everyone's excited to see you, it hasn't been the same around here since you left. Speaking of which," Farkle pauses for a moment like he's hesitating. "Have you seen Gen's new photos? You're the only one who hasn't commented."

"Oh, um yeah." Lucas is surprised; no one has ever called him out on avoiding her before and Farkle would have been the last one he'd expect to mention it. The genius knows a bit more about his friend's true feelings than Lucas is comfortable admitting. He quickly reaches for his laptop but continues as if he wasn't frantically searching for what they were talking about, "I saw it I just, uh hadn't come up with what to say just yet."

"Hey I understand, I knew it would probably be a little uncomfortable for you." Lucas starts scrolling faster, worried about what Farkle could be talking about. He stops dead when he comes across Gen's most recent photo.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Farkle," he lies. "I think it's great. Listen man, I uh, I gotta go. I have some errands to run before class. But we'll talk soon." He runs his fingers across his forehead, trying to calm himself down.

"Sure," Farkle doesn't sound convinced in the slightest, "bye Lucas." They end the call and Lucas drags his eyes back to his computer screen.

A black and white photo of Riley stares back at him although he can't see her face. Her eyes are shielded by a curtain of hair as she looks down at the baby in her arms. Her smile peaks through and he's never seen anyone look so happy in his entire life. The caption reads: _Mama and son finally together. Thanks to everyone for going on this journey with us._

He knew they'd been planning to adopt but he thought the process would take longer, possibly years. He'd thought he would have time to wrap his head around the idea. But there it was right in front of him. This was real. She was someone's _mama_.

Running his hand across his face only to find it wet with a few tears he turns to look at his nightstand where another black and white photo still sits. He hadn't been able to take it down, even after the wedding. The voice wouldn't let him. But things were different now. He wouldn't be hoping for a relationship to end; he would be wishing for a family to be broken up, and he refused to be that person. He had to let go of that voice for good.

He glances back at the baby in the photo, eyes wide and staring up at Riley as if she's his entire world. He knows nothing about him, his name or even his hair and eye color but he knows that he is the luckiest boy on the planet. He can't stop the pang of envy he feels towards the innocent little human.

Pulling the laptop closer he begins to type. _Congratulations you guys. It couldn't have happened to anyone better._ If anybody questioned his use of the singular pronoun he could always claim sleep deprivation.

He stands up, grabbing the picture frame and walks over to the stack of boxes next to his closet. He opens one randomly and buries the photo beneath a pile of old t shirts. He'll probably have to deal with it in a few months once he's in his new apartment but this is more of a symbolic gesture than anything else.

She hasn't been his in a long time. She's never going to be his again.


End file.
